Why does grief become so personal and you become so alone in your grief. I think about that a lot these days, after acquaintances have lost loved ones. It is about one's own behavior in front of people with grief, just as much how you get upset at how other people act when they are sad.
Already 1961 I went through my first great sadness, through the passing of a beloved father to the other side. It is my belief that life goes on, which I share with as many who agree and those who disagree. Thinking these days as Father's Day approaches how I reacted that time. When the offer came, I was taking care of my little brother, who reacted completely hysterically, so my cry that was on its way got stuck inside and there it still remains 2023. The grief for little Father is as great today as it was then, sometimes the crying appears a little.
There are more losses, which has become during the course of life and where crying has been a liberator. Lilla mor (2001), beloved little brother (2002), beloved husband (2017) and a beloved son (2018), to name the nearest. Souvenirs are available, which you take out a little from time to time and caress and remember, nowadays the pleasant memories are what the advice. The grief is the same for them, but a little guilty for two (2) went over for s.a.s. own hand. Then you wonder what I could have done to prevent this.
In recent days I have been touched by the behavior of a spouse in front of the deceased husband, that happened near me. I have so little understanding of how you feel, then one before burial and within three (3) days cleared away all the husband's clothes and personal belongings already given away or thrown away. It makes me feel "finally she got rid of it". The love cake is at zero point.
Approaching a person in grief is difficult because you don't know how. If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to just be there, many times just to listen. You don't need to talk at all, but above all do not ABANDON a person in grief. Show in action that you feel for her/him and understand. It becomes a double loneliness quite easily if you become absent in the grief.
Pongo Lindblom
2023-11-04