Depression – friendship and much more

People in my life reach out and ask how you are. It works is one of my standard answers. Very, very rarely do I say how I really feel and then only partially. Is this common. I have a tendency to isolate myself when I'm not feeling well.
A bit like a wounded animal” you hide from the outside world. Now I have e.g. for several years had a downward spiral, and a little contact with my surroundings and acquaintances. Close friends get in touch even though I didn't want to talk, and sort of forced me to think. Doctors put in so-called. “happy pills” which already put one to sleep “sovande”. Don't want drugs to numb because believe unconditionally in the power of tears, so now the happy pills are tapered off and out of the system and a thing of the past. Then you got in touch with the brain office again and it feels liberating. During this long time there are a few who have remained by my side and “maintained” me. Friends who themselves have been through a lot in their lives, but who are strong enough to have learned from their experiences and know what a supporting arm is worth, even if one does not seem receptive at the moment and knocks away any crutches that try to support one in life. Ensam är inte alltid stark.
I don't think my behavior is unique in any way, without me sharing it with many. It's not that I lack the ability to put feelings into words, but hits backwards and I don't want to, like a petulant child. Had a lot of professionals to help but have often ended up in the situation that I seem too strong and that I am the one who has been entrusted.
Friends have also had opinions on, who are my friends and thought that the ones I chose – some of them – has governed my life and my decisions and here I want to protest most definitely, it doesn't work that way. Friends should respect each other and whatever decisions a friend makes should be respected, so do mine. “My friends are not always your friends”, but that doesn't prevent you from continuing to be friends, for better or for worse.
Now I felt I needed to put it into words and there will probably be more, now that i have opened mine “Pandoras ask”, and may I continue to feel as I do today, then the risk is high.
Namaste
Ord på vägen:
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.
George Orwell